This is an update as to my absence on my blog and some lessons I have learned along the way.
I tripped on concrete steps before the holidays and broke a couple of bones in my driving foot. Then, after a few weeks at home, I had complications and was in the hospital for several days. When cleared enough, I went on to a rehabilitation unit for a week to rest and learn how to manage neither walking nor driving anywhere for several months. Now I am temporarily in a wheelchair – then a walker for the duration of healing these broken bones for another estimated two months. Although I am open to healing faster than that.
Looking back (with plenty of time to reflect) I realized that I had a variety of “signals” before the incident. I occasionally would “see” (on my intuition screen) glimpses of myself lying in a hospital bed. I would do prayers to “cancel” or mitigate this possibility whenever I perceived this.
When I asked Source/God and guides “Why did this happen?” I “heard” an inner thought/voice that replied “It was the ‘perfect storm’. There were multiple layers of thoughts and feelings that through the ‘law of attraction’ brought this experience into manifestation. And this manifestation is intended to assist you to clear/heal/correct any or all of these areas of my misinterpretations or misconceptions of thoughts and feelings about yourself and relationships.”
For example, I knew I was “burning myself out”. I had taken on a few to many projects to assist others. I had been asked to be on two boards of directors at the same time. Also, I was asked to assist two dear friends with developing their business, one of which is writing/editing several books. It was all so exciting!
All the while I needed to attend to my own business. I had reports and blogs to catch up on and was not completely taking care of my energy boundaries and daily duties. The holidays were coming quickly beginning with Thanksgiving when I tripped.
Still, before the incident, I began to feel that somewhere things were not quite right. I could feel my energy spiraling but not yet determine where this was coming from. I needed to slow down and felt the need to back off, take time out, and get some rest. I started emotionally “feeling and reviewing” my situations and realized I was energetically picking up on a few people and situations around my friends’ businesses that were not as presented to them.
So I made a decision to not commit to anything or anyone until I was totally clear and at ease with each one. I meditated and prayed on each issue and business until I “knew” what I wanted/needed to do with each situation. I could make excuses or take responsibility and tell my truth. Eventually, I resigned from one board of directors and decided to take a “time out.” I needed a “break”. Watch our Words! Thoughts! and Feelings!
That friend was so grateful that I shared my insights as to what my intuition showed me that he said I validated his exact feelings and he too had decided to resign from that affiliated board and create a new clear vision for his business. What validation and relief for us both!
Now I was faced as to how and when to present my needed “boundaries” to these other good friends and associates. I kept praying and feeling my way. While “researching” (going within) my feelings, all kinds of old energy around business and personal issues from my youth were showing up:
“I am always taking care of others…who is taking care of me? Who and when will others show up for me?”
“I am committed to supporting others … who is committed to showing support for me?”
“I always put others’ needs, business, etc. before my own…when do I have time for me?”
I have also been a volunteer for many years. An independent person, empath and a giver … and once again learning how to “ask” for assistance as well as balance giving with receiving. Recently was referred to a good book on boundaries – “The Reluctant Empath”. I recommend it.
So this brings me to now. While resting and reflecting at home all these weeks, I am allowing each day to unfold and see what it brings. While a few old friends are “busy” and I hardly hear from them, I realize that the Universe “shows up” with unexpected surprises. For example, a few of my acquaintances from church and my apartment community have “shown up” to assist me in different ways. All my needs have been met. I am safe and comfortable while healing and resting.
I realize that all my life, my needs were/are met somehow. I can trust Source/God/Angels and myself. Be surprised at who shows up. Let’s practice showing up for ourselves first!
P.S. I am now all caught up with duties and blogs and back “online”. Yeay.
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